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…The End
Five an a half hours left of my relentless competition entering mission and, as I’m leaving my desk now, I’m pretty sure I may have just entered my last.
Over the past year, I’ve been a chilli eating contest noob, almost famous for cutting bread animals on national TV, been chased by zombies around Leeds city centre, made a music video, entered over 1500 competitions, had 37 wins…
Thanks to you guys who were part of/followed my journey, you’re the bee’s genitals. *sniff* I’m getting all teary, it’s undoubtedly been the weirdest year of my life… and I’ve bloody loved it!!
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Win #37 Lefay Engraving - Joker Earrings
Win #37 (fb) Lefay Engraving - Joker Earrings
With all of the Batman hype kicking about, my ears will be decked in uber topical and super awesome.
If it didn’t require two hands, I’d now snap you a picture of my most awesomely terrifying Bane impression.
Sadly, it does.
You’re missing out.
Thanks, Lefay Engraving!
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Win #36 Revlon - Photoready Eye Primer
Snap away - for I am now photo ready!
Win #36 (fb) Revlon - Photoready Eye Primer
Thanks, Revlon.
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Machine Head Competition: Design Robb Flynn’s Guitar!
Thanks to our chums at Epiphone, we’re launching a competition that gives our readers the chance to create a design for Robb’s Love/Death Baritone Flying V – and the best design, as chosen by the man himself, will be made into an actual real guitar for Robb to use on stage! So basically, you get to see the frontman of one of the best metal bands in the world rock out with a guitar that you helped design. Not bad, eh?
Oh, and on top of this, the winner and three runners-up will all receive a Love/Death Baritone Flying V guitar… signed by Robb himself!
To enter, all you have to do is download the special template of Robb’s Flying V below. Simply print that bad boy out, get creative.
Finally, I can put my days of intense ‘Draw Something’ training to good use.
A duo of decomposing bitches, how could any man worth his metal resist?!
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Taste ‘Private Screening’ Competition
Tastecard have teamed up with Studio Canal to offer one lucky member the chance to take up to 30 friends and family to see apocalyptic comedy “Seeking a Friend for the ‘End of the Word” for FREE.
All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is to leave acomment below saying why you and your 30 friends would deserve to win!
Cue heartfelt story of love and undying friendship?…
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Go North East ‘Guess The Sweets’ Competition
Go North East asked:
How many sweets are in the tub? - Closest guess wins a week of free travel!
After using a miniature desk mop to clean up the sweet-lust induced drool pool from my keyboard, and remembering the teachings of Derren Brown, I used a combination of deep maths and averaging crowds to work out the answer.
A week of free North East travel surely awaits.
Shazam.
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Win #35 Hadouken! - Ministry Of Sound Gig Tickets
So, last.fm randomly threw up a bit of Hadouken! I was busy having a bit of a design-dance along to Mic Check and who should I receive a win message from?..
Win #35 - Hadouken! - Ministry of Sound gig tickets.
Bizarre.
I strongly suggest that you have a listen and let me know if the same thing happens to you!
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Memorial Awareness ‘Dead Art’ Competition II
The Memorial Awareness Board:
Sponsored by StoneGuard Memorial Stone Insurance, the competition encourages photographers of all abilities to submit their images of memorials both “then” and “now”. The winner will receive£1000 from the sponsor.
All entrants must submit two photographs one of then and now in order to be valid. The “Then”photograph should represent memorials as history, and the “Now” photos must be a modern headstone. Photographs can be either black and white or colour. A panel of experts including a professional photographer and a designer will judge entries.
I like it when creative competitions come around a second time.
I have knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
I have an almighty knowledge power up!
Like a Mario star or Sonic speed shoes.
This time, I had the knowledge to know not to leave my photography until the last minute and get trapped in a graveyard in the dead (sorry) of night.
During last year’s competition, a friend had suggested that I check out Highgate Cemetery. I didn’t have the time then, this year I did.
With the most disastrous previous year fresh in my mind, I headed there early, minimising the chances of adding a sequel to my 2011 Horror B Movie.
When I arrived, I realised that there was very little chance of this happening.
I couldn’t actually get in!
£7 to get into a Graveyard?!?
While the ghost ride may be slightly more realistic, it’s hardly Alton Towers.
There was only one option - stick my noodle arm through the gates and snap away like a little scenery thief.
At least you can make out objects in this year’s entry…
Then.
Now.
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Johnson’s ‘Brighten Someone’s Day’ Competition
Johnson’s asked:
What have you done to brighten someone’s day? Simply tell us in a few words and complete the entry form below for the chance to win one of thousands of prizes.
And the great news is, you can enter the competition every week until 3rd September 2012!
Never one to shy away from talking about my occasional pyromaniacal tenancies…
I set my friend’s crotch on fire with a home made flame thrower once.
Was pretty bright.
I’m hopeful.
Bet no one’s given THAT answer yet.
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Win #34 Garnier - Ambre Solaire Sun Lotion
Win #34 Garnier - Ambre Solaire Sun Lotion
In sunny holiday times, or on the rare occasion that the sun shows it’s face in London, there is always a sun lotion negotiation situation between my boyfriend and I…
Mark: ‘The sun’s hotter than you think today, you’d better put some sun cream on.’
Me: ‘Nah, I’ll be fine.’
‘You’ll burn.’
‘Actually, I won’t. I’m a Geordie. Geordies are pure rock. Rock doesn’t burn.’
————- 2 HOURS LATER ————-
‘Jenna, your nose is looking pretty pink, you should stop being stubborn and put cream on.’
‘It’s not. It’s your eyes. They’re sun burnt. You’re seeing pink!’
————- 7 HOURS LATER ————-
‘ARRRGHHH!! What happened?! I’ve turned into bacon!!! My skin is dropping off!!! Oh no, It’s the Swine Flu!!!’
‘…or sunburn’
‘I DON’T GET SUN BURN!!!!’
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Thankfully, the bottle has a precise little pour hole, which is perfect for filling up the water gun required to apply this product to my defiant chops.Thanks Garnier!
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Win #33 Employee Of The Quarter - Prize Selection
I know, my blog has been starved of posts.
Truth be told, I have been entering, just not really keeping you in the know.
My apologies.
I actually have a little pink book of scribbled entries to post.
I have this thing that keeps getting in the way of fun stuff… it’s called work.
You probably know exactly what I’m talking about.
Anyway, if you’d prefer to skip the life story, move directly to the next paragraph. I do love my job. The company that I work for have just launched a new lash fibre product, which means that I’ve been a lone graphic warrior tearing my way through a beastly tirade of packaging, info graphics, PR releases, social media banners.
Competitions were ploughed through with little style.
With such competition neglect, I was surely unlikely to win anything, except…
Win #33 - Employee of the quarter - A selection of prizes
Ha! Turns out I wasn’t neglecting competitions at all, just intently focusing on one.
My suggested prizes are as follows:
1. Chelsea spa day.
2. Give the gift of life and adopt Scooby the dog.
3. Photography experience with a pack of majestic wolves.
Majestic.
The word is swaying me.
I want to be barefoot swathed in shimmering fabric and bells, dancing around a woodland area, my majestic wolves galloping by my side.
I have the option to choose an experience of similar value/equal majestic-ness.
Suggestions welcome.
The wolves are going to take some beating!
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Attitude Clothing Clothing Model Competition
Hey hey! Check it out, I sneaked in to the final!
Thank you so much to you lovely facies who voted.
Looks like I might have to come through on my promise to bake the worlds biggest cookie of gratitude…
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Big Cheese Magazine Blink-182 Competition
Big Cheese are looking for Blink-182 super fans to shower with tickets to their upcoming UK tour,
We’re looking for the ultimate Blink fans to win the tickets for each city so to find out how to show your love and be in with a chance of getting those tickets, like the Facebook page then email us the reason why you’re the ultimate Blink fan (a story to back it up would be good!)
I grew up with the sweet yet profane Blinksters in my ears, actually, I once road-tripped from Newcastle to Nottingham for the day just to see them - Now, that’s a pretty superfan-competitition-winning-tale BUT that wouldn’t be quite creative enough, would it…
Dear Big Cheese,
I’ve Always been an Enthused Blink fan, admittedly, Sometimes even a Voyeur.
Give Me One Good Reason why I shouldn’t win, Dammit! Does My Breath Smell?! Sure, I may be a Pathetic, Boring, Mutt with potential symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome but give this Degenerate A New Hope!
So, Here’s Your Letter:
To win Blink tickets…
I’d stay Up All Night and Go Down on an Emo covered in Apple Shampoo on live Tv.
I’d ride a Roller Coaster in the buff, inciting Violence by throwing
M+M’s at the Natives on the Carousel below.
I’d play Snake Charmer with Dysentery Gary’s Ben Wah Balls while
eating Toast and Bananas.
I’d throw a First Date, Wasting Time, enforcing my Point Of View that
it’s Obvious that Aliens Exist.
I’d lure out an Easy Target - Josie, The Girl Next Door - push her
down the Wishing Well, calling her Dick Lips in The Fallen Interlude.
Fighting The Gravity, she’d shout out ‘Don’t!! Please Take Me Home!!’
but I’d just respond with ‘Shut Up - Man Overboard!!’ then refuse to
say I’m Sorry for carrying out this Reckless Abandon.
I really would do All Of This.
To win, I’d quite literally Fuck A Dog.
Please send me to The Rock Show!!
Thank you! :)p.s I f***ed your Mom.
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Attitude Clothing Clothing Model Competition
Are you sick of my pouting chops in photie competitions yet?
If not stick a like on this.
No Calum Best this time.
Which is a shame.
